Weathering the Internal Storm

Updated: Apr 10

How have you been, my dear friends?

Few weeks ago, I was all over the place. Moody, annoyed, numbed, every shadow you can think of came to surface. As much as I tried to ignore my feelings, they ultimately took over. I exploded, then cried like a baby from dusk till dawn. Early next morning, warm sun-rays gently shined through my bedroom window. I was awakened by a soft cooing from what sounded like an enchanted bird. I laid in bed listening as this glorious creature sings of its adventures filled with pain, mystery and hope. As the coos faded out into the distant skies, I came back to myself again. Sometimes, all we need may simply be a good, hard cry...

A teacher of mine once shared an excellent idea. Once in a while, she would book a hotel room and have herself a "Purging Party." She'd light up the room with scented candles, put on the most depressing music playlist, wrap herself in a comfortable hotel robe, and just cry her eyes out. She'd order in, rest, do nothing, sleep, watch TV, and cry some more. If one day wasn't enough, she'd extend her stay. When she first shared this idea with me, I was doubtful of its practicality. Now, especially now, I realized she was a genius after all.

After my own version of a purging party, I took some time to explore my feelings. What happened? Living in Taiwan, it has been easier to stay positive as our country and her leader have skillfully contained the virus early on. Yet despite our luck, the rest of the world continues to suffer. Singular positivity and hope can only go so far when the collective humanity is experiencing overwhelming isolation, rejection, fear, and sadness. My heart could no longer deny this universal pain.

Only in giving into this darkness, stronger light shined through. Having finally released my emotions, I returned back to a place of calm, peace, and clarity. Just as the pollution cleared for the Himalayas after decades, I too reemerged with refreshed hope and inspiration. As I privately journaled this internal process, I felt called to share my raw experiences with my Lotus Pond clan. While the last entry focused on staying calm, this one reveals my go-to survival tips for Category 5 Super Typhoons.

1. PURGE YOUR FEELINGS


As demonstrated, let it out! A good cry is one way. Purging Party is another. Exercising, sweating, talking, venting, writing, singing, painting, meditating, there are countless ways to let out our emotional toxins. As an empath, it is excruciating for me when I lock up toxic feelings or thoughts. Pent-up energy ends up manifesting  into unpleasant outward behaviors and/or physical pain. By ignoring our shadows, not only do those around us indirectly fall victim to this warped version of our broken selves, but more so, we have created toxic environments for our own body, mind, and soul.


Expressing one's true emotions and feelings is directly connected to physical, mental, emotional health and general well-being; while emotional suppression gives rise to all sorts of physiological, psychological, mental problems. Unresolved emotions can drain us, leading to burnouts, emotional imbalance and long-term diseases. This unprocessed emotional energy, when trapped inside our physical body - via organs, muscles, and tissues - build up, fester, and leads to inflammation and chronic health problems.

Are you finding ways to let out your negative feelings?


2. SOCIAL DISTANCING DOES NOT EQUAL DISCONNECTION

I just learned that my dear classmate in Ireland has been stuck at home alone for 50 some days. While isolation is much easier than fighting off coronavirus, my heart still goes out to those who are cut off from the world. While we must isolate from each other on the physical front, we can still find ways to connect soulfully.

On the day of my purge, several important events occurred. After weeks of being a hermit, my mom dropped by unannounced, spending all morning with me, showering me with her love. It was in that moment my purge unexpectedly began - I became a little girl again, crying into my mother's arms. When my husband and kids returned home, I was beamed with more love, space and support. Even my dog sensed my pain, following me around all day, resting his furry face on my lap every time I cried. That same nigh